Friday, June 26, 2009

(209) Really, Really Bad Stuff.

209  Star Trek IX, Insurrection, has been moved to

I've said anything is better than just watching banners and trailers.  These folk are out to prove me wrong!

These films can be assumed to be almost unwatchable unless rated otherwise:

(A) Star Trek first contact fan film.  Staic, no sets, and I can't understand the dialogue.

(B)  Moved to Historic Fan Films. (E) (Star Trek: The Klingon Incident)

(C)  Star Trek: Starfleet Marines Rating: 0.5
This seems to be more a Superman fan film than a Star Trek fan film. A really BAD Superman fan film. But, I wanted to place it here to warn anyone who bothered to check here about it. My bad joke about the J.J. Abrams Star Trek has been that it's so far into the fantasy and not the Sci Fi area, that they can now guest star Superman. Who'd have thought a collection of teenagers would have taken that idea seriously?

I can't be sure, but I think it's supposed to be Silver Age. The 'uniforms' are not of any known era. The ship is The Dauntless. g

Episode 1.1
Episode 1.2
Episode 1.3
There's a crew member named Kal-el... the last surviving Krytonian, which seems like the wrong franchise. In fact, if they didn't label themselves as "Star Trek" I'd take this to be a fan film for THAT OTHER franchise with humans and aliens. There are neither sets nor green screens, but they use elevators for turbolifts and old PC with on desk full size boxes and cathode ray tubes screens for computers. The only hint of Silver Age is the choice of music and a character named Reginald Barkley. No special effects or CGI. Repeats itself, and claims the Romulans did stuff, but it's not even clear how they got the Krytonite they went down to get. It's not clear how their crew was abducted, or why, or how they found out. Bad writing, mediocre acting. No use of CGI. Hard to follow. Bad, repetitious editing.  Why use Star Trek anything?

Season 2 "Lifesign"
This might be Part 1, but I wouldn't bet my life on it. The Eradicator is beemed up in the nick of time. Well, at least Braniac is Green. It's got one on Smallville for that.

Season 2 Part 2 "Exile"
This one has Supe's tights and "S" and Brainiac.

Season 2 Part 3 "Sacrifice" Opening Credits

It ends with our two Star Fleet Marines cut off from their ship. But then, the whole thing made no sense, so who cares?

(D)The Best Star Trek Fan Film Ever Made These guys say this is a film they made to prepare for making the not-quite-bad-enough for this listing "Borg War" ... and I believe them.

(E)  Parodies, just by their nature, are often both bad and offensive.  So, it's hard for a parody to be so bad it winds up here, AND has to be moved to Star Trek Restricted!   But this 3 parter made it!  Star Trek: The Lost Conversations.  To go to Star Trek Restricted, click here:  Star Trek: The Lost Conversations


(G) Phantom of the Space Opera (TOS parody) Combination of remarkably weak idea, bad execution, bad singing voices, bad video and long length (about 90 minutes!) place this in really, really bad stuff.
You Tube Home:
Part 1 of 9 (7:47)
Part 2 of 9 (8:44)
Part 3 of 9 (8:42)
Part 4 of 9 (9:31)
Part 5 of 9 (9:24)
Part 6 of 9 (9:42)
Part 7 of 9 (8:58)
Part 8 of 9 (10:09)
Part 9 of 9 (7:23)

(H)   Star Brits (British Star Trek Parody)  This is obviously done by somebody who is not British.
Star Brits 1 (British Star Trek Parody)  (3:44)
Star Brits 2: The Smashing Old Ship (5:19)
Star Brits 3: Attack of the Volmulans Part 1 (7:16)
Star Brits 4: Attack of the Volmulans Part 2 (7:04)
Star Brits 5:  The Hunt for the Little Green One (9:14)

This is not the worst of the Really Really bad stuff.  But to rate it as a 1 would insult other 1s.  The audio is purposely made hard to understand by a fake accent and having one person read all parts.  The video mixes captures from Pro Trek with badly drawn stills.  The fake Britishness serve neither the function of humor nor of plot nor of characterization.  The story is not original, being taking closely from pro Trek.  Rating: 0

(I) Deep Space 9 Parody. Moved to Star Trek Restricted for fowl language both for sexual content and racism.

(J)  Two films by .  Characters are violent, story is chaotic and unrelated to the characters whose names it uses, sound is poor.  Also, foul language.  Moved to Star Trek Restricted for foul language and violence.

(K)  Star Trek: The Mirror    No story.  Just a game with pictures of ships fighting extracted.
You Tube Channel:
Trailer:  (1:24)
Episode 1 Part 1:  (1:15)
Episode 1 Part 2:  (2:42)
Episode 2:  (5:33)
Episode 3:  (1:49)

(L)   Mash-up for a personal attack on Alec Peters.  Posted as a parody of the Axanar mess, 7/1/2017, on Facebook: us.blazingstoke/videos/1020965 3598283334  ;  On YouTube, watch?v=oGivKtcJ-ko (3:00). The filmmaker is Marcus Blazingstoke, us.blazingstoke?fref=ufi

(M)  Sardonic, A Star Trek Fan Film. 

(N).  Star Smack, as of March 1, 2018 and REUPLOADED

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